Love will remember

Hey hey hey
The last time I've posted was like 10 months ago? So it looks like blogger hates bringing me here? lol no, I was busy like freakingly busy. You have no idea how crazy A level students are.

So.. my life gone a lil bit crazy lately, I'm proudly announcing that I'm retaking all the AS subjects again.. YES I AM UGH and IT SUCKS. I swear to god A level is nothing like high school's exams not even spm. I mean though its higher level but still, atleast I thought I can pass to next level happily and what not but its not exactly what I've thought. and yeah now I am retaking it all over again.. kill me!

Life is life,
wonderful college friends, not-so-caring family, sad-beautiful-dramas with boyfriend and blablabla..
but those memories are precious. some gave me lessons, some made me stronger and one thing I've learnt, people will always come and go including those people who we might think would never leave us..

Have u ever feel so bloody hurt like u don't even know what to do to overcome the sadness? If u have, u feel me. It hurts a lot. I kept saying that lately. It's like I just wanna cry everyday and fall asleep. It's hard to tell people how do u feel about wanting someone to understand you, to care about u like before. because you're the only one who feels it. people would never understand and keep asking u to move on, let go and forget about it but hello idiots, don't u know what "its hard" means? especially to let go, to forget about someone that u really love.. its not that simple I tell u..

I bet u guys have atleast someone special that you really love, tht u can count on, tht when u look at his/her face and say I'll marry this person someday. I had one before, but I'm not sure whether now I feel the same way or not. It's hard to tell if tht someone u loved has changed. It's like you're forcing yourself to love someone tht u never know.because that person u loved.. is long gone. especially the part they start to look at u differently, the way they care, they love, the way they say and they show it. You'll realize when the love is not there anymore. When there is no spark between u guys nemore. and you don't know what to do because you love him/her so much. to move on, to let them go are hard, so as staying.

No point if you're the only one who's making efforts and the other one is not. True relationship is when two hearts would do anything to be together. "TO BE TOGETHER" isn't it sound so sweet? My beloved one, he did that to me before, he cared, he was so charming and romantic. He was all I wanted. but then I have no idea what changed him to be like what he is today. I didn't say that I don't love him anymore ofcourse I do, I've been through thick and thin with him for like 3 years now. But I can see the change between us tho I have no idea why but he's still the only one in my heart. sometimes it hurts me when things aren't the same like last time, but I can't say anything. He doesn't understand. we can't ask people to go back and be like what they were before right..

All I need to do is.. just be strong and be patient. If u love someone, u'll do anything just to make him/her happy. And I'm doing it right now eventhough it causes me a lot of pain. eventhough I will cry everynight, eventhough he doesn't realize he hurts me SO MUCH. I will be patient and pray hope that one day he realizes how much he means to me. I'm willing to sacrifice anything just to be with him. Yeah, it sounds crazy and fool and stupid. but love makes people goes blind, it makes people do stupid things. and I believe in destiny, if God says he's mine, he will always be mine. nothing can change that. HOPE & BELIEVE are strong words. I HOPE and I BELIEVE he will be mine. Pray hard! Allah knows the best! Amin.

sometimes I find vampires have more interesting lives than a human has haha (I'm sorry but I'm a fan of The Vampire Diaries) ok minus the fact tht they're a blood sucker lol but seriously, when they get angry or sad they can switch off their humanity and move on.. and when they're okay they switch on the humanity back. How interesting is that? I mean I know its not logic but think it again, life would be so easy if we humans can do that right? switch off the feelings and move on find new guy switch on the feelings again blablabla lol but tht how life is and obviously vampires aren't exist in our world especially those lovely, fashionable, perfect ones. No they don't exist.

Gosh I wish he reads all this. maybe one day.. okay gtg guys! I have paper on monday and I'm so not ready kill me again haha XO.